Rating Cartoon Women.

It seems at least somewhat likely that most young men around my age, the “Cartoon Age”, have at some point wished the lustful chicks in cartoons were real.
It seems lust for these animated women stems from a few things:

1.They’re always there- Lois never goes to work (or if she does we go with her) , Marge never hits the town or a holiday spot without us. They are on the television most days for our viewing pleasure, and over an average childhood we rack up countless hours of quality time with them.

2. They’re all the same- cartoon wives and mothers never have bad hair days, never get fat, always seem to be made up. They’re perfectly the same down to the outfits.
If you’re as sexually repressed as I then these fictitious women have no doubt become some kind of weird fantasy to you. So, if they made the jump to the world of flesh and bone, who would be the best to court? I have run through a quick list of pros and cons for each of them as a potential mate, partner and kindred soul.

Lois Griffin:
Pros: Lois is probably the most physically attractive of the bunch, also the kinkiest and overtly sexual, is kind of a cheerleader who certainly knows how to party. Despite this she does hold a certain caring and sensible nature.
Cons: That voice is the worst, really nagging and can be kind of a bitch.



Peggy Hill:
Pros: There aren’t many. However, she is smart, financially sensible and independent.
Cons: Fairly unattractive, preachy, nagging, egotistical and overly difficult to get along with.



Leela and Amy:
Pros: Leela is basically super-hot, even for a one eyed chick. Amy is likewise fairly hot and has a schoolgirl way about her. Plus they’re from the future, which is just awesome.
Cons: Leela is a tad muscular, could probably beat the shit out of you, has a bad attitude. Amy is annoyingly stupid.



Marge Simpson:
Pros: By far the cartoon queen. A great mother, hot with some kind of sex appeal, unique hairdo, a good wife, insanely tolerant who will always play the Danny Glover to your Mel Gibson (Assuming they were gay and MG didn’t hate black guys).
Cons: Really badgering, kind of boring and has a succession of crazy childhood dreams.



I suppose the only logical conclusion is that Marge would win on the wife and companion fronts, Lois, Leila and Amy would be sexually fulfilling and Peggy is just plain bad. But make up your own mind….
NP.