On Trying To Overcome Your Crippling Hatred Of Wankers In An 'Experimental Poetics' Class.

It is full of them. Kinda. Or, it it is full of people who seem like wankers to me, which is most people who go slightly interpretive or artistic. Definitely a fault of mine. A fault, incidently, I have had since high school when my teacher tried to infer that Hamlet was full of 'cunt', but tried to infer it on emphasis and syllables so she didn't get sued.

I just don't see it. I don't see much when it comes to poetry. I am a prose baby (now trying to overcome a hatred of myself) and I have trouble placing the words in versified form when there seems to be no point to it. If you have to read a bunch of other shit to unlock the core meaning of a poem, then it may as well be an index or a map key.

Having said that, there is poetry I supremely enjoy that only makes sense as a poem, in the same way Groundhog Day only makes sense as a film. But trying to study the workings is doing me under, it seems the value of a poem is like that of a bass player, you don't notice how it works when it's good.

So reading poetry or hearing it is, to borrow a term from my surfer brethren, super rad. It's just writing it and listening to it from my peers is, kinda cringey.

Here is the problem, really; I am in a class where everyone understands or respects poetry more than I do. I have never known what makes a poem a contest winner, I probably never will, did I tell you I was a prose baby?

As a result I am dismissive, snide and cynical. In my head. In reality I really want to support your vision on the death of your imaginary friend, childhood. Or that ripper you had about how things are worse when it isn't light.

I really do, I take the workshop process seriously and would like to give you the constructive criticism I would like to receive back. But I don't know how, I am no good at poetry. Scratch that, I am notably bad at it. I would love to know what you mean but I am way to dumb.

So to me, you are a wanker. It is my defence against my own lack of understanding. Better you a wanker than me an idiot. Although, really, better me the idiot.

NP.