On Internet Acronyms and Altered Words: Making People More Retarded.

If you are even the slightest bit internet savvy, or indeed have been on the internet even once and haven’t been in a cave for the last decade you would’ve experienced these acronyms; hell you may have even used some yourself.
In my more youthful days I was, like most members of this tech generation, well versed in all of these ridiculous misappropriations of the fine English language. I used them recklessly and in most even somewhat available occasions.
In recent years I have regained control and began to speak like a civilized human, but it was certainly touch and go for a while there.
Of course, the time saving aspect and main justification for their existence is valid. But as with most things designed to make human life more bearable, they have gone too far.
While using them in internet conversation is still slightly tolerable, its when people begin to treat them as real words and litter their speech and manner with them that the problems really arise.
In case you are unaware, or in massive denial, about these bothersome little wannabe words, I will run a few of the more common ones down for you:

-LOL (Laugh Out Loud)
By far the most common and I must confess I still use this in internet conversation, much to my frustration. Old habits die hard I suppose.
Naturally, meant to be used when something is funny or you are indeed laughing out loud, all too often it is used when there is nothing else to be said. In this way it has replaced the vacant ‘yeah’ when you’re not hearing someone, or don’t care enough about the subject manner to listen, in face-to-face conversation. It is a nothing ‘word’ and I estimate that a good 80% of people aren’t Laughing Out Loud as they profess to be.
For the record, it is L-O-L (Not Loh-l), each letter has a meaning and it is not a word.
There is nothing more frustrating than in face-to-face conversation when someone says ‘loh-l’ after a humorous anecdote or a joke. They are saying ‘I found that amusing’, well fuck-face, just laugh…the way regular humans do.

-BRB (Be Right Back)
This is the second most common of these, and possibly the most useful. Used when, in those rare instances, you have to leave the computer to take a piss or get coffee. Trouble is most people just leave, so the most useful is useless as it is not used, funny old world.
The other comforting thing about this is that it can’t be easily used in regular conversation, due to a splendid lack of vowels. Retarded people are too retarded to attempt its pronunciation, and there is comfort in that.

- GTG (Got To Go)
What ever happened to ‘Goodbye’, I would like to know. When one doesn’t have the time to say a simple goodbye, things are very wrong. This one exemplifies how making things easier makes it seem as if they were hard to begin with, thus highlighting humanities stupidity. Luckily though this one can’t be turned into a word either, or I imagine there would be more murders committed by English scholars.

-ROFL (Rolling On the Floor Laughing)
This one is really stupid. It seems to have faded a little in recent years. I suppose the concept is that when something is more than a LOL it’s a ROFL, though in my 21 years I have never Rolled On the Floor Laughing, and if I were ROFLing, I would be too incapacitated to mention it on the internet chat, again when people say ‘RohFuL’ I just want to stab them.

Then there are the words that are altered, for no real reason other than to save a letter here or there, though those letters come at the cost of ones perceived intelligence and are, in my opinion, not at all worth it.
It is often teenage girls who implement this, though not solely. Here are a few, and only a few, as there are far too many to mention in full:

-Love becomes Luv
There must have been something wrong with the spelling of ‘love’ for those hundreds of years it was spelt that way, or, people are just dumber in this century. What is it worth saving that extra letter when you look dumb? Oh wait, you are dumb.

-Hate or Great becomes H8 or GR8
I can understand this in a text message, when the letters are restricted and it takes multiple punches on a key to get them, but on the internet when you have access to a full deck and unlimited characters, it is just stupid.

-You becomes U.
U is not a word, enough said.

The consequences of there various acronyms and abbreviations are more than you might imagine. When I was heavily into my acronym and ‘net language’ phase I found myself misspelling things on school essays and exams, resume and in letters. If, like most net jockeys, you are on the internet using this kind of language more often than not, its like a lie that you tell for so long it becomes truth.
While we have much more access to information than our parents did, if we keep spelling and speaking in this ridiculous manner we will reap none of the benefits.
So Sht Tha Fuk ^ n Stop tlkin like Kidz.

NP.