When I think of honesty, I think of my mother; perhaps not the usual, for a 21 year old with his share of bad habits and regrettable behaviour, but a practise that has its rewards.
In the case of my mother and myself, being honest has rewarded the both of us with sound advice, peace of mind, and a faith in trust.
But would I advise honesty as a blanket and uniform rule for humankind? Though I would like to, I cannot say ‘yes’.
As someone has said, ‘the truth hurts’ and as Jack said ‘you can’t handle the truth’. The sad reality, I’m afraid- a good amount, if not the vast majority, can’t handle the truth- the whole truth. Why do you think court-room dramas are able to run rampant as they do?
The fact is, we lie for a reason and, often, with due cause. The comfort of truth can’t possibly overwhelm the feeling(s) of having ones feathers ruffled. We prize gratitude, approval and ‘that warm, fuzzy feeling’ over just about everything else even if it is falsified. As such, a compliment is taken as gospel and one rarely has the awareness to suspect it might’ve been a fib on the sole grounds that having someone like you feels so darn good.
Naturally, you will be largely ostracized and disregarded if you aren’t a subscriber to this unwritten doctrine of ‘harmless truths’ and you can’t realistically expect to make a lot of friends. However, the few friends you do have will have a greater admiration for you, for the sheer courage it took to confess the horrible truth.
Indeed a fair share of the lies told are those infamous ‘white lies’ and they have their purpose also. When nothing is to be gained by being honest, but something might be by being a shade insincere a white lie is not only recommended but the only real detour of real trouble…
As a beautiful girl once told me, ‘there is a difference between being honest and being mean’. Indeed.
But I, a firm advocate of the ‘playing it straight’ method must say, in the end an upfront truth is of greater benefit than a prolonged lie. Or, to put it another way and in the immortal words of John Candy;
“I’m the genuine article, what you see is what you get”.
Indeed you were John, indeed you were.
NP.
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I remember an old saying, it was along the lines of "You can't change reality by pretending it's different. If the truth hurts someones feelings then you should still say it so that person knows they have something about themselves they don't like and can go about fixing it. That's why I tell the truth, and that's why I want you to tell me the truth, because lying won't change the facts."
ReplyDeleteNow that I think about it, that's not an old saying, just something I typed just now.